One day I remembered.
But before that day
I was a small regular human
wandering the giant Earth planet
like a grain of sand on the beach
like one cell inside a body.
Being so small it felt easy to fly away off the earth,
to get lost in the turmoil,
to be misplaced
in the giant cacophony of life.
What chance would a feather have of staying in place in a windstorm?
And the work then was to anchor,
to braid together the fine threads
of a heartbeat’s connection to the earth
and to send these down into her unfathomable depths
seeking a rock solid enough to tie onto,
seeking the iron core at her center,
desperate for solidity,
for a center to hold onto
that would not fly apart
despite the ever turning centrifugal feeling of it all.
That work went on for a while.
In the meantime
there were moments of exhilaration,
flying across the face of the Earth – fast
and suddenly aware of each being alive on the planet
as a singular point of light,
a pointillistic Earth covered in a flowy gauzy web of white lights,
the Universe’s best christmas decorations
strung up everywhere,
each living being’s unique light
pulsing in my blood
throbbing in my veins
expanding my head for a moment to nearly the size of the globe itself.
There were answers to mysteries singing in that pulsing
but I could not quite hear the words.
Underneath it all and inside it all
was the singularly consistent tone of the Earth herself
and I spent more and more minutes and then hours and then days
listening to her songs,
hearing how they accompanied the songs of all of the other things on her -
in the birds, the trees, the bees, the glaciers, the ocean waves, the whales, the minnows,
the oysters, the wolves, the snow leopards, the elephants, the butterflies -
they all carried her songs inside them and her songs danced with their own songs
like a melody within a melody
or a fine harmony enrichening the tune.
In the humans this was not so.
they were not hearing her songs
and their own songs were dim and fast and short and often out of tune as a result
and that web of interconnected lights would flare only for brief moments
leaving behind just the dots
bobbing in the sea of the planet’s great surface
like tiny warning buoys.
Danger, rocks ahead.
I don’t know when it first happened because time is no longer in me.
I only move through it now sometimes for the convenience of certain work.
But it did happen.
One moment I was a small human
singing our songs
me and Earth and life (except the humans) all three together.
Feeling Earth’s sadness and pain
my fierce heart expanded abruptly
I was a giant
but still growing beyond that
and I was suddenly enormous
and so much so that the Earth became like a small ball in my arms
that I could hold and hug and caress
tenderly caring for her like a baby
like a soft fragile delicate being found stunned and senseless by the side of the road.
And she said to me then
‘oh thank goodness you came back for me
I am so glad you are here’
and she nuzzled in closer in my arms,
her sweet smiling face turned up to mine
and closed her eyes and slept.
And then I remembered how I had birthed her from inside me and so many other worlds besides.
And the solar system and the galaxy became tiny,
fitting in the palm of my hand,
and the universe became like a small town I could see from atop the nearby small mountain
and I could see all the worlds I had birthed
spread across hither and yon,
most doing well and flourishing
here in my arms,
was sweet tiny magnificent darling beloved Earth.
I held her and suckled her and sang to her and laughed from the joy of her
and as she grew strong again.
I rejoiced at the flow of her energy coursing again through her body
around and through her glorious globe
and then I kissed her
and her eyes opened wide
and she laughed with me and sprung up out of my arms
rested and replenished
reconnected and filling up again
and she twirled around like a small child spinning on the grass
laughing merrily as she did
enjoying her awakening and renewal.
Together we crafted a new element
which she spread around and through and under and inside everything on the planet
lastly ensuring it flowed into each of the humans as well.
and when she was ready
we began to sing together
and the sound vibrated the new element in such a way
that it began to shimmy and shiver and slide around inside everything
and the humans even began to feel it
like tiny echos of birdsong in their hearts
like the sweet laughter of a baby
and the new element awoken within them and then awakened them
and they came alive again
standing in sudden curiosity
‘what was that?’
lips curling into smiles
twinkles turning on in their eyes
and everywhere all around the globe the people looked to each other and began to sing
and reached for each others’ hands and began to dance.
and then everybody remembered.
art by Tamara Phillips