Once there was a star.
She and her star friends decided to accept a very dangerous mission. They said yes to the mission because they wanted to spread more light throughout the many universes. This was their core essence: light bringers.
They had done many missions before, more than could be counted.
Some of the missions were super fun and some were really weird and some were unexpectedly hard. But even the hard ones resulted in a glorious victory made all the more sweet by the difficulty of the passage.
To do this new mission, they had to leave their big beautiful star bodies and enter a different body.
The star took the hardest assignment which was on a small planet which she had helped to create many aeons earlier.
It was a beautiful planet. Blue and green were its colors.
To help, the star had to shift her beingness into a new body called human.
The biology of the human body didn’t allow all the star’s light to flow.
Her light had to be… compressed.
At first she could do this. She sucked her light in tight, all the way in, until it was a small but mighty sphere that could hide away in this new body form.
This was a very hard thing to experience but she knew she could do it and that it would not last long and she believed in her mission.
She was only supposed to be there for one human life period. She knew she could do that.
Down on the planet, in her temporary human body, something went wrong with the entire mission. Everyone’s connections back to their true homes were abruptly broken. Like a radio signal suddenly silenced.
In their human bodies, without their star connection, they could no longer find each other. They felt blind and lost.
Without their star connection, each of the starhumans began to forget who they truly were and they lost their memory of their energy arts which they could have used to reconnect at least with each other if not to their home.
The star was shocked by this grave turn of events.
At first she was determined and optimistic that she would be able to fix things. She always had before.
But a darkness came in and filled her and she could no longer see or even feel her own compressed starspark light within.
She was lost. Truly lost.
When her human body died, she would normally have followed her connection back home. But that connection was broken. Her beingness did not know where to go.
So she did the only thing she could think of which was to keep working the problem, to keep going.
She came into a new human body and went through another lifetime. And another. And another. Many many lives.
In each life, she remembered less and less of her true self and the inner darkness seemed to swallow her light entirely.
The same was happening to the other stars who joined her on the original mission to this planet.
Many lives passed.
At some point, in order to survive, she had split herself apart inside.
One version of her was moving through the human life she was in.
Another version of her retreated to a box of her own making in which she felt she would be safe. Where no one could get to her or see her.
She did not know why she needed to be in a tight small box to be safe, she just felt that this was the only way to exist. So that is what she did.
This part of herself, this wildling, contained her starspark which her human self had forgotten existed.
The wildling protected the starspark inside the box, alone and away from all others.
What the wildling did not know was that her starspark was so bright that the box she had made could not contain it fully.
Her light shone out through the box walls just a bit. To be sure it wasn’t very bright with all that wall stuff to push through, but it was very much there.
Others began to find her, drawn to the starspark in ways they could not explain.
Over time she made a new way of being in which her other aspect, the human one, built a life around the hidden starspark.
The human of her could see the starspark within despite the box walls and only over time came to understand that it was actually so much brighter and bigger than what she was seeing.
She tried every which way she could to set the starspark free so its full brilliance could come out.
It became every focus of her attention. And it was frustrating and painful to feel so close to her starspark but unable to set it free.
She felt like she was sitting by a very small fire on a very cold night when she craved a glorious bonfire of warmth and light and joviality which she now knew without any doubt was within.
All of this effort to open the starspark was affecting the wildling inside the box.
The wildling was having ideas come into her head out of the blue.
Ideas like maybe she could make more room for herself. Maybe she could stretch out. Maybe she could be free.
But she did not trust the human nor any of the other beings who came around her all the time offering to help her.